Very little is actually being asked of us, as white people. To start, we are being asked one thing, really: Sit through an entire conversation where we hear about and examine how we are benefiting from racist systems that were created to protect and serve us.

Hey, I have some resources to share with you, which I’ll link at the bottom. First, let me explain why I’m sharing them. … I have watched this Toni Morrison interview clip before, and I caught it again yesterday: View this post on Instagram If another non-Black person asks me “what should I do about it?” this is the face and the answer you’re gonna get.

Story time! Every once in a while I see a business-y advice post or email like this: 1. First, make a list of all the things you find tedious, frustrating, or annoying but that you have to do to run your business. Accounting, scheduling, writing all those blogs/emails/newsletters, learning how to use new technologies that you’ve been putting off forever. …

We’re all ambitious here. “I want to do things better than anyone has ever done them before!” For some of us, our ambition perverts itself into a perfection we can never reach. “I want to do things the absolutely right way.” If you wait until you’re ready you’re going to miss opportunities.

Fun can’t wait until I get all the important stuff done because I never get it all done. If I try to get all the important, responsible stuff done then I maybe get more stuff done that day. But I’m dead inside. ? My impulse to withhold permission to have fun until after I’ve been responsible “enough” reminds of the pre-Covid craze over de-cluttering.

So this is hard, huh? I’m annoyed with everyone and tired of everything. Including myself. I turn judge-y when I feel deprived. “Why are those cyclists riding in a group? They’re going to get cycling banned.” “Why does she feel the need to buy that much rice? She’s the reason I couldn’t get rice last week. Compulsive hoarder.” Et cetera. And people are judging me, too. I know because they tell me.

If I’ve preached anything, I’ve preached, “Give yourself permission.” … Permission to think bigger. To have big ideas that take time and space to form. Give yourself permission to give them that time and space. I serve women in my business. Therefore, I’ve also found myself preaching, “Get a babysitter.”

I’ve seen a debate ping-ponging around the internet that’s silly and interesting all at once. Silly because… Everything. Has. Stopped. I’m not saying that means we all have nothing to do now. We all have more to do now than ever. But I’m saying… the way it was/what we had/life as we knew it… has stopped.

A couple of podcasters interviewed me last week for the EFF Perfect show. (Great chat. It’ll be out in June.) We talked all about how perfectionism erases us. I said things like, “While we sit on the sidelines waiting to create the perfect thing, we end up never saying anything at all.”

Everything has changed. But some things have not. For example, perfectionism was a thing before this disaster and it’s a thing now. In some moments, I would like to acknowledge that I have needs, but that I can’t meet many of my needs right now because of this bat-shit, grueling, terrifying international emergency.